Planning a wedding can be a pretty intensive process with so much nuance and complexity that it can make you want to cancel plans and elope at the courthouse. Trust us, after a decade, I’ve seen it all and some things still continue to perplex me.
When you add an out of country destination to the mix things can become escape-room level bewildering. Even after planning weddings in over 6 different countries across the world I’m faced with something new each time but there are a few things that ring true that you may not have considered so I’m giving you some pointers to help you maintain your sanity and plan an epic destination wedding!
1. Cultural Traditions Will Shape the Course of your event
When planning a wedding in the US, regional traditions vary from state to state and even county county. But for the most part, little things like a Pennsylvania cookie table or whether you do your first dance when you enter your reception or after dinner are minor adjustments or additions that really just enrich the overall experience. However, when you’re planning your wedding in another country there could be layers of tradition that affect the actual logistics of your event. For example, in some countries in Europe, it’s unheard of to have dinner and dancing in the same space, dinner lasts for 5+ hours and you dance well into the wee hours of the morning. In others, standing ceremonies are the norm and cocktails are short and casual. One of my favorite traditions from latin culture is the “Hora Loca” or “crazy hour” where the dance floor gets kicked up a notch and props like balloons, glow jewelry, and even themed performers come out to put on a show that involves the audience participation. No wedding in Mexico is complete without the breaking of a piñata and by the time you’ve hit midnight more tequila has been poured than you can even say “gin & tonic”.
If you are planning this all yourself, you want to be very specific about the questions you ask your creative partners in the country you are getting married. For example “What’s the typical time you allot for dinner service from the time guests sit down to when dinner starts?” or “how much space will the dj booth take up in my reception space?” “Are we required to hire security for the entirety of the event?” and even “we are going to be lighting all of these candles, right?” . All of these questions have come up in planning weddings in other countries with surprising answers that have changed the trajectory of the planning as well as the logistics on the day of.
2. All in One Destination Packages offer little to no customization and therefore little to no character
If you’re getting married somewhere that’s like the Mcdonalds of wedding planning, where you pick your wedding from a menu and a few begrudging employees in the back take off their lifeguard shirts and pick up a camera to shoot your special day, you won’t have to worry about cultural traditions as much as the fact that you won’t get to customize your day at all. When we are working with a client planning a destination wedding, we are customizing every aspect of their big day from the local items we procure for welcome bags to the perfect spot to watch the sunset for the welcome party. Wedding day will flow exactly how you want it and we will do everything in our power to make your event not only fun but also meaningful and memorable. That’s not to say you won’t have fun at an all-inclusive with watered down bottles of rail liquor flowing like a bad hangover in the making, it’s just that your wedding experience will feel exactly like that, a cheap all-inclusive vacation. If you’re looking for something that feels unique to you and your partner, hiring a destination planner to build your event from the ground up will ensure not only a fabulous group vacation with all of your loved ones but you’ll create unique memories that will last a lifetime.
3. VAT and service charges can surprise you
If I had a dollar for every time a vendor quoted us without their additional VAT, license fee, local city tax, government tax, wedding tax etc. I would be a wealthy woman. In the US pricing tends to be pretty transparent, but even then it’s always important to ask if that catering quote includes the 24% administrative fee and taxes because that will take you outside of your budget quick if you’re not careful! In many other countries there are VAT costs, essentially taxes specific for hosting an event in that region that many other places are not exactly “up front” about. The last thing you want is to be getting ready to dance on your wedding when the dj comes to tell you he can’t play music until you pay the $1500 music licensing fee to the local government. Yeah, it has happened and it’s frustrating as hell so be sure you ask EACH of your vendors if there are any additional costs from now through wedding day that you can anticipate so you can accurately budget what you’ll be out of pocket.
4. Contrary to popular belief, getting married in another country isn’t always cheaper than getting married in the US
Remember that nuance I talked about earlier? Just like house shopping, venue and region shopping can come with a lot of surprises for first time couples looking for their perfect place to say, “I do”. As someone who lives in Europe half the year I can tell you similar rules that apply in the US apply over here. For example, if you’re looking to get married in the south of France, prices vary. Are you looking for a cliff-side boutique property with Michelin rated chef service? It’s going to cost several more Euros than an old monastery further inland with no water views. Are both properties beautiful? Yes. Are you still getting a magical european wedding experience? Of course! But similar to buying the 8 bedroom mansion on the street versus the 4 bedroom fixer upper, turning into what you want it to be will take a little bit more elbow grease and $$$ on the back end. Don’t write off the old convent just yet however, some of our favorite destination weddings have been in the most low-key locations that have incredible mountain views, epic castles or secret gardens. These are the spaces we really get to flex our creative muscle and build something incredible for you from the ground up.
5. Communication varies from place to place. Set your expectations accordingly.
One of the biggest differences I can express between many American vendors and ones in say South America or Europe is the level communication and expectations on response time. For example, if you’re looking to get married on the Amalfi Coast, note that the majority of the coast goes on vacation from November-March. This means that if you reach out to inquire about getting married at a property November 1st, you may not get an email response until the things are starting to bloom again back home. This can be absolutely mind-boggling to an American who is so used to the immediate gratification of an email response within 24 hours but it just doesn’t exist like that outside the US. We’ve had countless experiences where we are following up with a vendor multiple times 6+ months out from the wedding but they are on vacation, traveling or just have no sense of urgency until we are 3 weeks out from the wedding and suddenly they are in full panic mode requesting details we tried to discuss half a year ago. When you do this for a living, you roll with the punches, scramble to make things work and then go out for a cocktail cursing the entire industry. Unfortunately sometimes you are at the mercy of whenever that vendor or venue returns from vacation and you have to sometimes make some tough decisions to pivot and do something different but all in all, a lesson in patience and being extra organized early on helps soften the blow a bit.
In summary – Destination or Local, the Choice is yours!
This list is not meant to scare you, destination weddings are some of the most wonderful experiences you can ever share with your loved ones but they do come with a very unique set of challenges. My best advice is to hire a professional either local to the area or who specializes in destination weddings to help you navigate and to tell you what is normal and what is not. A seasoned wedding planner can help you manage your expectations so you end up blissfully unaware of the long list of chaotic things that happen behind the scenes and get to just enjoy a beautiful week or weekend with your loved ones!
