The topic of giving your guests a specifics on the attire for your wedding is as old and contested as having weddings outside the church or deciding to do a private cake cutting, both conversations to enrage the internet for another day.

The topic of what you should ask your guests to wear is something that almost always creates contention or fear. Black tie vs black tie optional? Formal attire vs semi-formal? Cocktail attire? So many of these terms have been misconstrued over the years leading to guests fearing they will be under or overdressed. I’m going to get into the reasons why you should want a wedding guest look book on your wedding website, how it differs from a dress code and 3 look books we’ve created that you can steal for your own wedding!

Why a suggested attire is different than a dress code

This is for all the folks who immediately started screaming something like “you can’t expect your guests to go out and spend thousands of dollars on a new outfit for your wedding!” or “some people don’t like those colors so you can’t expect them to wear exactly what you want!” First things first, take a deep breath in with me…..hold it and count to 5….now exhale and come back to reality from your tantrum. I’m not kidding when I say I have heard from many clients how their intended guidance on dress code has caused some awkward Christmases. Let me gentle parent you through this.

A dress code is a term I’m not particularly fond of, it feels a bit to corporate or dining jacket to me. A dress “code” feels like a law you have to abide lest you be written up for a citation or dismissed early to change into something more appropriate.

I prefer using “suggested attire” or “Guest Dress Style” instead. This conveys more of a friendly approach. Like your best friend coming to your house to help you pick what you wear for a first date. When we are suggesting attire for an event, it allows the guests to get involved with the style and design of the event.

For example, we’ve done many weddings in Mexico that weren’t on the beach. If you indicate to your guests that the dress is “tropical chic evening attire” and also inform them they won’t touch sand, they know to not show up barefoot in their favorite patterned sarong. Many people love the idea of wearing something that goes with the theme, let them have fun with it!

But I don’t want to tell people what to wear!

Okay another deep breath here. In the past, you may have received an invitation that said “semi-formal attire” or “black-tie optional”. What was the first thing you did when you read that? Did you immediately google “semi-formal attire” or “black-tie optional”? Did you then go to the images and see a WIDE variety of things that were so vastly different that you gave up and decided to look at gardening Tik Tok instead? It’s okay, we listen and we don’t judge.

My point is, you’re going to make some sort of suggestion to guests anyway, instead of leaving them scouring the internet and then staring at their closets hopelessly, why not give them a fun guide they can pick from? What we recommend is to put the descriptive title of your attire on your invitation and your website, with a small blurb about what it means.

For example, going back to our “tropical chic evening attire”. You could say something like “Bring your boldest, tropical prints and jewel tones. Floor length or cocktail length for ladies and dark or jewel tones suits for men, no tie needed. Open toe optional, we won’t be on the sand so strappy stilettos are a go ; )”

Have fun with your suggestions and guests will not only enjoy dressing and accessorizing themselves but who knows, maybe someone will discover they are actually a summer instead of a spring and you’ll save some fashion lives.

Your Website Should Answer Any and All Questions your Guests will Ask you

Wedding websites have only been a consistent thing for the last decade or so but they are an absolute must in a day where most if not all guests are traveling for weddings. You can communicate everything you need to on your website so your guests can adjust their expectations and be the best guest they can which means enjoying themselves to the max! Along with things like your events, registry, and travel details, I also recommend you add a “FAQ” page and a “Things to do” page.

The FAQ will have some of the other info from your website that you want to really drive home. For example, you already know what NOT to do when listing your schedule on your website, but reiterating on your FAQ page your ceremony start time and the length of time it may take for your guests to get from the parking lot to sitting at their seat is a helpful tool I stole from airports, particularly after many panicked moments running through the entire city that is Chicago O’Hare on a tight connection. Things to do just gives your guests some fun options if they want to explore while they are in the area. If you have a favorite cafe or dinner spot nearby, list it so your guests can experience it as well!

The beautiful thing about most wedding websites is you can also create a custom “what to wear” tab where you have all of this information in one spot so guests can easily click through and get inspired. You have 3 options on how you present this:

1. A Pinterest board link.
   • Pro: you can add to it easily and just pop the link on your site. Links to specific attire and brands help your guests if they want to shop for your weekend.
   • Con: Guests that don’t have Pinterest have to create a pinterest to access it and sometimes it suggests you download the app and that can be frustrating and way too much work. We are looking for the path of least resistence here!
2. Adding photos directly to the website:
   • Pro: short, easy and to the point. Guests don’t have to go to an external site.
   • Con: not easy to link, not a lot of formatting options since you’re using a template
3. Creating a Look Book in Canva
   • pro: Full customization AND you can add links so guests can click on a specific outfit and buy it or get shopping inspiration for something similar. No need for guests to create a login and it’s easy as pie to create and for guests to access. You can also download images directly from a site to purchase instead of just Pinterest so if you know a brand who is perfect for your day, you can basically go shopping and pick your favorites to suggest to guests.
   • con: You have to put a little more work in to download images, create a template for them and upload but once you’re done, you can easily update and adjust as needed,

3 look books you can steal for your own wedding

Still feeling a little overwhelmed? Here are 3 short and sweet look books we’ve created for 3 different themed weddings. Feel free to share to copy and paste the verbiage and add the link to your own wedding website!

Tropical Chic Evening Attire

Great for: summer weddings, tropical destinations, urban settings with a colorful vibe, helping your guests lean more “beach club” and less “Margaritaville”

Possible Verbiage: Attire is tropical chic evening attire. For ladies, cocktail or floor length gowns in your boldest shades. For the fellas, a dark colored suit will do, leave the tie at home!

Garden Party Semi-Formal

Great for: spring and summer. Encouraging pastels and floral prints. Avoiding shorts and encouraging fascinators.

Possible Verbiage: Attire is garden-party semi formal. Pastels and florals encouraged. Ceremony will be on grass so tread lightly with heels. Gentleman in light or dark colored suits and ties optional. No shorts or short skirts!

Summer Vineyard Formal

Great for: Encouraging a moodier color scheme and reminding guests that “vineyard chic” doesn’t mean “rustic farm-wear”

Possible verbiage: Dark colored gowns, satins and chiffons encouraged. Our ceremony will be on grass so leave the stilettos at home! Gentlemen, dark colored suits with ties or tuxes. Whatever makes you feel the most like James Bond.

Prefer to Create Your Own?

I thought you might, you crafty little devil, you! If you’re looking to make your very own look book I have a FREE Template for you to copy and create your very own wedding guest look book!

YOUR FREE WEDDING GUEST LOOKBOOK TEMPLATE!