How do I decide to postpone my wedding?

This is a tough one! Our clients have made a variety of different decisions all based on their specific situation. There are a few things you should consider when making this decision

1. Are myself or any of my guests sick?

   • this should be a no brainer. If anyone you know is sick and they have a risk of infecting others, you should consider pushing your date so you don’t put your loved ones at risk!

2. Are myself or any of my guests high risk?

   • If you or any of your guests are high risk, this should be a primary concern before you decide to move forward.

3. Is your state under a phase that prohibits significantly less guests than your current number anticipated to gather? If so, pushing your date will allow you to celebrate with all of your loved ones on a shiny new date that the government won’t have to get involved with.

Why should I postpone instead of cancel?

Look, we don’t have the answers to all of the questions and even the information we currently have will most likely change in the coming days, weeks and months but we can tell you this: there is an entire industry of people out there rooting for you to celebrate and get married!

1. The primary reason you should postpone instead of cancelling is that you have spent months and in some cases years and lots of $$$ planning such a special event. If there is an option to keep that dream alive, why wouldn’t you? By this point all of your friends and family are SO excited to celebrate you that they don’t mind waiting a little extra time to do so (quarantine has made us all very patient if we weren’t before!).

2. There are usually also financial repercussions if you cancel all your vendors and you’ll be out all that $$$ where you could transfer most of it if not all to a new date (more on that below).

3. We are all going to need a reason to party after this is all said and done! With every great difficulty in humanities timeline, something absolutely epic follows. What happened after the spanish flu? The roaring 20s. What happened after WWII? The civil rights era & golden age of America. Don’t you want to be a part of the celebratory part of history when people get to have an epic party with you? You can usher in the new era of the roaring 20s with your big day!

What are the first steps I should take?

1. If you have a great planner this person can start the process and make it happen for you. If you haven’t hired a planner yet your first step is reaching out to the venue to check their postponement policy and available dates within a certain time frame. It helps to have a general time frame in mind (Saturdays in July, Fridays in October for example) so the venue can check a short list instead of going through an entire season of dates double checking against holds and other weddings and will typically result in you getting answers faster!

2. Once you know what dates your venue has available, I recommend picking a top 2 or 3. Keep in mind wedding season for fall and 2021 in a lot of areas is moving forward as usual in addition to other clients rescheduling so dates are thin. Keep this in mind when selecting a date! Fridays and Sundays are also peak wedding days and for destinations it’s not out of the norm to celebrate on a Monday or a Thursday (we’ve even had some really fabulous Tuesday and Wednesday weddings!)

3. After you have a few dates selected,reach out to all of your vendors and again check their postponement policy and availability on your top date selections. This is when it’s great to have a spreadsheet or even a good ol fashioned piece of paper with your vendors listed out in one column and rows of each date so you can mark off which ones are available. This will help you rapidly figure out what date the majority of your vendors are available on therefore mitigating the time and expense of having to find new people to fill your date. Plus, who wants to start from scratch when you probably already have a really kickass team of people you’ve spent months selecting? Also, make sure you are reaching out to ALL of your wedding vendors, it’s easy to forget about things like room blocks, transportation, and other partners that you don’t speak with frequently. Here is a list of vendors you’ll want to make sure you contact but it’s not completely exhaustive

   • Caterer

   • Stationer

   • Photographer

   • Videographer

   • florist

   • Band or dj (don’t forget ceremony musicians if they are separate!)

   • officiant

   • Hair and makeup artist

   • rental companies

   • Transportation company

   • Cake baker

   • Lighting/tenting company

   • photobooth, mobile bar, specialty interactive display vendor

   • childcare vendors

   • rehearsal dinner venue, entertainment, florist, decor

   • company making custom favors

   • Hotel room blocks & reservations

   • Honeymoon vendors – flight, hotel, tour guide & activities, spa appointments etc.

What things should I also consider?

Postponement Fees

You may have some small fees related to moving your date with your vendors and this is normal. Keep in mind all of your vendors are taking a hit on the new date you’ve chosen where they should be bringing in new business. Essentially covid has cut almost every gig economy workers income in half by not only . Could you survive a 50% salary cut? Postponement fees allow your vendors to stay afloat and is a small fee that takes the place of the otherwise typical income they would be bringing in from a new client on your date.

Cancellation Fees & non-refundable deposits

A cancellation fee & a non-refundable deposit is exactly what it sounds like. Small businesses are providing you with a luxury service on your wedding day, this often means they are taking only a limited number of clients so they can serve you in the best possible way. When you decide to cancel instead of postpone, keep in mind there may be fees associated with doing so and you may not get back the deposits paid up to this point. Some vendors will even require that you fulfill the contract & remaining payments (for example, your planner does the bulk of the work leading up to the day and then the day of just orchestrates the months of planning time they’ve already invested). For example, if you pay monthly payments on your car but suddenly your car breaks down and you can no longer drive it or now you’re working from home and no longer have to commute, either way your financial lender still expects you to make those car payments. So even though you aren’t technically using your vehicle, you still have a financial responsibility to pay for it. Now the option to get out of this is by selling your car therefore transferring the debt (or some of it) to a new person. However, keep in mind, this often comes with negative equity so while you aren’t being charged a “sell your car” fee, you’re still typically out a chunk of change. Similarly, if you’re faced with a tough life event like job loss you can sometimes request a deferral on payments or refinancing your loan but in the end you still have to pay.

There tends to be some confusion on what cancellation due to Covid means based on different states regulations but let’s discuss why cancelling your wedding is still an a decision you’re making that doesn’t enact certain clauses in contracts. If the Governer of your state has a mandate that says only 50 guests can gather, this doesn’t mean that you have to cancel your wedding. The above option to postpone to a new date or the option to have an intimate celebration on your initial date with your close friends and family (and perhaps a bigger celebration later) is still technically an option. Some clients will look to their contracts force majeure clause, however, keep in mind if you are choosing to cancel where there are other options available to you. I can also tell you that in my experience postponing all of our spring and summer season events, vendors are happy and eager to be as accommodating as possible to help their clients out, we all truly do care and still want to provide you the utmost in service and a beautiful day.

Why should I consider a micro-wedding and will it still be the same?

If celebrating this year is more important to you than having a big bash with a ton of people, a micro-wedding is the best way to do that! Most vendors will agree that while a micro-wedding doesn’t have the same feel as a big gala, it’s just as meaningful and so much more intimate! Some of my clients are even opting for a micro-wedding now and pushing their big bash to 2021. This gives you the best of both worlds and lets you relive the day all over again with even more people! The one consistent thing I hear from clients at the end of their wedding day is “is it over already?!” Having 2 smaller events or 1 small followed by a big party allows you to prolong that feeling!

Obviously a microwedding is a completely different thing than a 200 person wedding. Some things to consider when going this route:

1. A lot of your vendors will cost exactly the same or will have minimums.

   • For a photographer, band, officiant, videographer etc. the number of hours is what you are paying for, not the number of guests. Just because you have 10 people instead of 100 doesn’t necessarily make it any less work for them. The only thing that you might adjust is number of hours if you are switching from a big bridal party, big list of family photos and cutting the evening back a few hours. This is a conversation you should have with these vendors after you decide what your new micro-wedding event will look like and what the timeline will be!

   • Some of your vendors have minimums that you signed in the contract initially. While oftentimes you can drop your guest count down and the vendor will oblige, certain things will actually end up costing more. It’s all basic economics but when you buy in bulk you save. Therefore, your food costs for a caterer may be $150 per head for a larger guest count but will increase to $250 per head because the cost of food will increase for the caterer. You will offset some of this cost of course by having less staff there and less rentals. Similarly, your florist buys in bulk and oftentimes has done a significant amount of design work before the day. In addition to that, they may have purchased hardgoods that were included in your proposal that they now own and were worked into your pricing.

2. How do I mitigate these additional costs?

   • Go all out! What better time to present and enjoy a once in a lifetime luxury experience? For some of our clients who had simpler events, now you can really go all out on splurging on your loved ones and putting on the event of the season. Think about how the roaring 20s came after dark times and how opulent things were. You could consider restructuring your menu so instead of having a 3 course meal or a simple buffet you can live it up and do a 7 course meal with true gastronomical excellence. I can tell you chefs are thrilled to come up with some incredible dishes for you and your guests that will make you feel like you are dining at a Michelin rated castle on top of a hill in Italy (if that wasn’t already your plan, of course!)

   • Floral minimums can be met by bringing all those Pinterest dreams to reality! If before this you had 200 guests and 20 tables and couldn’t afford that insanely luxe arch that you wanted or the lush floral canopy above your dining tables was just out of reach, you can ask your florist what may be possible with the minimums you have now that your guest count is lower. Did you want to do hair extensions, va-va voom lash extensions or get additional services like skincare etc. from your HMUA? You got it moviestar! Seriously, don’t think of this as a loss, think of all the gorgeous possibilities you now have, almost like finding extra surprise $$ in your wedding budget!

   • For vendors whose pricing does not change based on your guest count, take solace in knowing you hired that person for their creativity, raw talent and ability to serve you in the best way. Your photographer and videographer will be able to capture way more detail, more smiles, more intimate moments and may even be able to take you outside of your venue to a beautiful location nearby that otherwise you wouldn’t have time to get to. Who doesn’t love an intimate concert? Your band or dj will be able to interact with your guests on a personal level that makes them feel like they are getting the VIP treatment and a private show.

   • Save on all the frivolous things that you no longer need. 200 custom cocktail napkins? You just saved $50. Custom koozies with your wedding date? No thanks. All the signage and extra items you would normally need for crowd control go out the window. They are typically small amounts here and there but also work towards giving you that surprise extra $$ in your budget or can go towards an epic honeymoon when you’re finally able to go. If you’re more comfortable at home use that extra denero add some luxury to your day to day life. Maybe now you can get that robot servant vacuum, a projector for outdoor movie night or an additional case of wine to just get you through the day to day. The choice is now totally yours!

So, when should I be doing all of this???

There is no magic date of when you should choose to postpone your wedding. I’ve been taking it a day and a week at a time with my clients to see how the landscape changes as we approach their date but a good rule of thumb is about 60-90 days out. This typically is the time frame you are ordering & sending your invitations or finalizing details that you might want to hold off on for the new date. It never hurts to have the conversation with your vendors. We are currently at the end of July and I’m having the conversation with all of our remaining 2021 clients to gauge what they want to do. As of right now, the remainder of our events from August-December are holding strong but any of that could change at any time. If you work through the steps above, you can also ask to put a soft hold on a date until you make a firm decision or new information becomes available,that will buy you some time! When all else fails, talk to your vendors and do your research to see what other people are doing. Remember, this is a tough decision, but a decision nonetheless. You’ve already planned most of an entire wedding and you should pat yourself on the back for accomplishing that feat! This is just one more thing on your “to do before I do” list that you can now also confidently say you’re a veteran at.

If you’re interested in working with us in either a planning or consultation manner, reach out ot us on our contact page and we can set up a complimentary 30 call to discuss where you need the most help!

As always-Happy Planning!